Chao.

Anyways, if you have children and are concerned about saving them from the fire, it’s something that I ask that you at least read and consider inshaaAllah.

Her letter is below…

In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

as-Salaamu `alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu

I hope that this email reaches you in the best of health & Iman. Some of you may not know me and some of you may know me. Either way, it doesn’t really matter but your email addresses were either forwarded to me or I forwarded this to someone who will forward it to you, insha’Allaah.

I am sending this email to inform you about a new Charter school that has been accepted in Indiana through Ball State University. It is called Connections Academy. Basically, it is a government funded public school which is known as “the school without walls”. That is, it can be done all at home but you are still considered part of a public school and it is all free. I have been keeping my eye on whether or not it would be approved by Ball State for about a year now and when we checked our mail the other day, we got a package letting us know that it was approved February 2nd, 07.

Why the email? Many parents can’t afford to put their children in the Islaamic school here in Indianapolis, IN or may not even have access to a Islaamic school and find themselves with 2 other alternatives. The first being homeschool and the second being public school. Unfortunately, not every parent knows how to homeschool their child/children and feel they have no choice but to put them in public school. For most Muslim families, it is a very hard decision to make. I myself went to public school before becoming Muslim and I know the evils that occur in such a place very well. Evils that our kids need not be put into. We know that we are responsible for our flock and our children are our flock. On the Day of Judgement we will be accountable for how we raised them.

Kids can’t escape many things in such places and that is why I am very excited about a new possible alternative for many Muslim families. This is an alternative that I must warn, christian families will be after with their teeth. Why? Because many christian families all over this country have realized that their children lose their upbringing by going to public school. If one as a parent isn’t there to guide them, our children can easily be molded into a way that is far from what Islaam calls to. So you parents need to continue reading if you agree with everything said thus far.

Connections Academy again is government funded and fully accredited. What does that mean? That means that the tuition is free and every course taken counts. All books are sent to the children and any supplies needed for any class such as science are also sent out.

How does it work? Basically, the students work from home and through their computer. Every child will have a certified teacher to keep in touch with. This teacher will upload lessons onto a specific link and through that link and after login on, the child will be able to see his/her homework, lessons etc…

What do parents have to do? Well, if your children are older and a bit more independent, the parent may just watch over them to make sure things were completed. If the children are younger, the parent has to be the one that guides them through it all. You will have to make sure your children do their homework and help them with the lessons provided. Do keep in mind however, that the lessons will be available for you and you will only have to read through it and help them out as much as they need you to help them out. If there are any ?s there is a number/email etc… to contact the teacher directly and get help.

Is it flexible? Yes, it is. Through their online setup, you as a parent (and the children as students) will have the ability to setup your own schedule. Let us say that there is a math lesson scheduled for every day of the week - well you have the ability to decide to do them in that manner or to do a few lessons a day, twice a week etc… So there is no need to have to spend so much time, every day. In the DVD that I received, there was a child that took on 4th and 5th grade math all in one year. So it is up to the student and parent as to how much they want to accomplish and in how much time.

What kind of curriculum do they use? All of that information is on their website but some that you may be familiar with are Calvert, Hooked on Phonics, Prentice Hall and Perfection Learning. Parents will not have to worry about coming up with a curriculum if they don’t have the time or don’t want to by simply going through Connections Academy.

They also have a number of activities and clubs that they offer, for different ages.

What about socialization? This is a common excuse for parents who hate the idea of anything to do with studying at home or just feel uncomfortable with it. Well, as Muslims we are taught the difference between good and bad socialization. When our children are around people we don’t even know, we have no control over much of anything. Many parents want their kids to learn to socialize with friends but who they really need to be learning from are the adults. Socialization is a skill that is learned and you can’t learn to socialize properly from kids who don’t know how to socialize themselves. You as a parent are responsible for what your kids say and do. By having them around you, you have the ability to socialize with them at home and to take them to the Masjid and to gatherings and teach them the difference between good and bad. They need to know that guarding their tongue is the best thing they can do and that their speech should be something beneficial.

Having them study at home doesn’t mean they will be deprived from this. If you ask a common teenager today if they like to be around adults, they will most likely answer no or lie to you. Why? Because they just want to be around people their age. But Islaam teaches us differently as well. You as a parent have to decide how much time you are willing to give to your children, so that they may have you as a guide and not someone who may not be fit to be a guide. So do not make this a reason to ignore this offer.

Indiana is one of the states that is very behind on homeschooling and charter schools and this is an opportunity that many people wish for. My son is still a bit too young to be put in but even without this alternative, I had set my mind on homeschooling. My main reason was because I know what happens in public school and I know the effects on a child from first hand experience. When they have to deal with christmas, halloween and all types of holidays, it is very hard for them to ignore it. Public schools put so much emphasis on these holidays and it would be very hard to avoid it. In a normal public school environment, unless you are the ‘cool’ kid you will face all types of injustices. There will be bullying and though some parents think this makes their kids stronger, in reality for many it does the opposite. They also have to deal with all types of sin and transgression such as dating and the likes, which Islaam obviously calls haram. So keep that in mind.

For the 2007-08 school year, Connections Academy will only be accepting students from K-11th grade. They will be adding 12th grade the following year, bi’ithnillaah. This year however, they will only be accepting a total of 700 students. If by March 29th 2007 they have more than 700 students, there will be a lottery and acceptance will be based on that.

Do not miss out on this great opportunity. You as a parent will be able to guide them and be a part of their learning and be able to tell them what is right and wrong. Remember that you will still be responsible for providing them a deen filled environment.

If you are interested, there will be a few information sessions throughout Indiana and a few online. You don’t have to reserve a seat for the live info-sessions but for the online ones you do.

If you are in Lafayette, there will be a live Info Session on March 5th 2007. The following is the information provided:

6:30 pm on March 5th 2007
Homewood Suites
3939 St. Rd. 26 E
Lafayette, IN 47905

If you are in Indianapolis or Greenwood, there will be a few information sessions held here. The information for all of them is not up. For those interested in going to Greenwood, the following is the information:

11:00 am on April 9th 2007
Lee’s Inn
1281 South Park Drive
Greenwood, IN 46143

For more information, you can visit their website at www.connectionsacademy.com There will be a drop down menu on the far right-hand side of the page and you will just have to click on Indiana. There you can order a catalog, take a look at the curriculum by year and enroll your children and get information on the info sessions. Remember there are some online if you prefer but you must register for those before they fill up. If you have more than 4 children to enroll, you will want to call them at 1-800-382-6010. The link for direct enrollment is http://schools.connectionsacademy.com/registration.aspx - just make sure you click Indiana Connections Academy (which I believe is the only available option).

This is an opportunity some of you don’t need to miss. If you can’t afford the Madrasah or don’t have a Madrasah nearby and can’t homeschool, this is a serious blessing. May Allaah make it easy for all of us, aameen

If you have any other questions you can contact Connections Academy directly. If there is anything else I can be of assistance with, you may contact me at ummlayth@gmail.com

Jazaakum Allaahu khairan for taking the time to read this and keep our family in your ad`iyah insha’Allaah. And if you know anyone else that may be interested in this, please forward this email to them or just talk to them about it asap, insha’Allaah.

was-Salaamu `alaykum
-Sr. Asmaa’

That’s what I felt at around 4:00 this morning as I was browsing friend’s blogs/facebook/myspace and came across something that well, frankly, broke my heart.

Death is near. It can come at any time and without any warning.  In our minds, we all think we have a lot of time and will live until we’re old. But how many of us will lose our lives at a young age unexpectedly leaving loved ones behind? This is reminder first and foremost for myself. I used to be able to taste death. When we are close to it or affected by it, we realize how death is near. But how quickly that feeling fades away and we forget.

For those of you that don’t know, I went to India a couple years back. It was simultaneously the best and worst time of my life. That experience shaped who I’ve become… it made me realize I had to take the deen more seriously and it influenced my decision to seriously consider marriage. 

While I was there, one of the other students in my group (and the only other Muslim student on the trip), drowned, may Allah have mercy on him and accept him as a shaheed. It was devastating to all of us. It so easily could have been any one of us. It could have been me.

Mohamed was a student at USC, full of life, energy and a very good heart. Everyone loved him because if you were with him, you were smiling because that’s the kind of character he had. After he died, some of us were in contact with his family members. In particular, I spoke via email, IM, etc. with his younger sister Farah.

How devastating was it for us who watched our peer who we had only known for one month be alive one minute and vanish in the midst of the Arabian Sea the next? How much more devastating must it have been for his family who was left without their only son and for his sister who was left without her only sibling, with whom she was extremely close.

It was more devastating for them than I ever imagined.

I learned in the early hours of this morning that since his death, Mohamed’s mother attempted suicide and was committed to a mental institution. Farah, who has also been undergoing therapy for depression as well, was left to care for her mother and step-father. How tragic for a girl her age (then 17) to have already lost your biological father, then to lose your brother and, theoretically, your mother all in the span of a short period of time. And perhaps even more tragic, she lost not only her family, but she’s also now completely lost her Islam.

Hearing this has brought back the sting of that experience. I ask Allah to use that sting to make me a better and more committed muslimah.

I know many people would say don’t have pity on them because of things they have done and perhaps brought upon themselves, but my sorrow for them is almost more than it was for him when he died. Because when he died, I had hope in Allah that He took him in His infinite wisdom for a greater purpose and that he had been granted the highest honor of being among the shuhadaa.

But for them… my heart weeps.

I’m currently waiting until 5:30 a.m. when my mom said I can wake her up so we can go scan my documents at the library and send them to Waheed. Why we didn’t take care of this why he was here, I don’t know. The time was such a blur… spending time together and trying to give family and friends their rights as well. And now he’s back. He almost didn’t make it, which would have been a strange twist of events. His connecting flight to JFK was cancelled. If he missed his Saudi flight he wouldn’t have been able to go back this semester because his entering visa expired on Saturday (and Saudi Airlines only flies out once or twice a week). But a detour to Newark and mad dash to JFK left him making it in time.

Anyway. He called at 1:30 this morning. I missed the call, but vaguely remembered the phone ringing. So when Musa woke up around 2:00, I checked and saw the missed call and called him back. So today is the day he’ll be going to hopefully get permission for my iqama. A lot rides on me getting the iqama so if you can please just pray or send good thoughts my way, I’d appreciate it.

On another note, since he’ll be in Riyadh, he’ll be getting to see Hind’s (AbdulRahman’s wife) family. I want to tell him to please somehow take pictures of all the kids to send to me because oddly enough I miss those kids so much (and Hind too, but since he won’t see her I’ll have to wait till I go). It’s funny because I got close to her right before we both left west lafayette. Even funnier because our relationship was based on barely being able to communicate to each other but somehow finding a way to forge a friendship. So I’m looking forward to seeing her again. Waheed’s been in contact w/ him for awhile… it seems life is good for them. In addition to his job at the uni, he’s been made the imam of a masjid there, so that’s nice.

So that’s it. I have an hour and a half longer to wait.

I’m (hopefully) going to be updating a lot more. This blog is probably going to be more personal and less of my articles and stuff. Just being honest. So I’m giving you the heads up in case you don’t want to read.

Till then…

Most of us have had several of those pivotal life-changing moments in our lives that have altered, well, pretty much everything. I can think of several of those moments in my own life.

I’m facing another crossroads right now.  If you’re reading this, say a little prayer for me - that I’m guided to what is right and what is best.

Excellent reminder:

Abu Hurayrah, radi Allahu ‘anhu, narrated: the Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said, “Being rich does not mean having a great amount of property.  Being wealthly is being content.” [Bukhari]

 Musa is home, alhumdulilah. He came home on the 24th of December and so far, so good. MashaAllah he’s a very sweet baby and hasn’t given me too much grief yet. One of the blessings of him being in the hospital (you have to grab for whatever good you can right?) is that I had time to heal and rest up before having to take care of him full time.

 It’s ‘eid today. Doesn’t feel like it. I’m back home with my family and the days pass quickly. Waheed was given the opportunity to make hajj this year, alhumdulilah. Inshallah he’ll be coming home on the 26th. It’s been a long time.

Inshallah I’m planning to update more often. Eid mubarak to you and your families.

On a lighter note, I was given this bag as a gift:

http://www.monkeemoos.com/products/Ju-Ju-Be/Be-All-Blue-Bouquet-BEALLBLBON.html

My mom calls this line the Cadillac of diaper bags. I’m a sucker for bags and shoes. The first one I liked was this one:

http://www.monkeemoos.com/products/Ju-Ju-Be/Be-All-Sporty-Stripes-BEALLSTR.html

I’ve been thinking of exchanging the first for the second, but now that I actually have the first and it has been sitting on the floor of my room and I’ve been looking at it day after day, it’s growing on me and I’m thinking maybe I should keep it. Thoughts?

This must be the most useless post I’ve made so far.

This mother’s tone was one of heartbreak, wallahi. When one reflects on her words and their meaning, we should all ask ourselves - how have we gone so wrong?

The problems with Islamic schools are multifaceted. The answers are not easy. However, getting to the root of the problem and finding practical solutions that work should be incumbent on each and every Muslim community. Without proper Islamic schools, our children are going astray. Some of them are turning into kuffar in front of our very eyes. May Allah protect all of our children and raise them as righteous Muslims, AMEEN.

There are two main challenges of Islamic schools. These are the two questions that so many administrations are left to find the answers to:

1) How can we be financially secure and independent?

and

 2) How do we create a balance between Islamic and secular education?

There are many problems with Islamic schools, but in general they all fall into one of these two categories, which are inter-related in and of themselves. These challenges are an everyday struggle for the majority of Islamic schools in the States.

Now, to proceed. We must examine these questions more thoroughly and the inherant problems that lie therein.

1) How can we be financially secure and independent?

Everything in Islamic schools goes back to money. It is sad, but true. It is the single most important issue that every Islamic school has to worry about. Problems that arise from not being financially secure and independent:

1. High tuition. For most schools, tuition is the single biggest source of income. It is used to pay for the majority of operational expenses of the school. (By operational expenses, we mean money to pay teachers, money to buy books, money to pay bills [electricity, gas, phone, etc. etc.], and many other things that, without them, the school would not function).
   • The problem with low tuition: Low tuition does not mean more people will come to the school because they will be able to afford it. In fact, low tuition will often result in a drop in enrollment. Why? Because if, as we said, tuition is the main source of income for a school, low tuition will result in a smaller budget. A smaller budget will result in many things being cut from the school: quality teachers, resources (books, computers, etc.), sports, after-school clubs, etc. When things begin to get cut from the budget, many parents will pull their child out of Islamic school. Because even though they want their child in the Islamic school, they also want their child to be educated not miss out on everything.
   • The problem with high tuition: The problem with high tuition is that many good Muslim families who want to send their kids to Islamic school can not afford to pay the tuition. The problem becomes more complex when those same good Muslim families agree to send their kids to the school knowing they can’t afford to pay the tuition, then the school makes the budget with their enrollment included assuming they will pay because they agreed to that and never indicated they could not pay, and then they don’t pay. Besides the fact that this is as hug sin on the families who do this, many other things result. Bills may not be paid, salaries may not be paid on time, and things that were promised to be bought or covered can not be, because the money the school was expecting to come in has not.
   • The solution: So what, you ask, is the solution to the tuition problem? The real, permanent solution is to make the school financially independent so that tuition is not the school’s only income. There are many ways that this can be done, but that will be saved for another time inshaaAllah. Tuition is a must, but it should be kept at a moderate level. Also, if the school is financially independent, donations to the school can be used from scholarships for student’s whose families have financial need, but should also require that the student receiving the scholarship not violate school rules AND have a certain level or performance in his/her classes.
2. Power struggles. When an Islamic school is not financially independent, it leaves the door open for continuous power struggles. Why? Because if the school is dependent on tuition to keep the school running, those people who pay the tuition (student’s parents) are basically holding the power as to what does or does not happen in the school. Because without the parents sending their children to the school, the school would simply cease to exist. If the school is dependent on donations and a said donor is known to donate a lot to the school and then that said donor hears of an issue in the school that they don’t like, they can (non-verbally or verbally) threaten with not donating by trying to convince the administration not to go counter to their opinion. Some examples of this are below. One can see that these types of examples make implementing rules and policies and sticking to them problematic.
   • An administrator or teacher tries to punish a child for breaking a rule. The parent comes in and thinks they have a right to tell the administrator or teacher that they can not punish their child. (This happens more often than people think.)
   •  A parent doesn’t agree with a rule or some rules that the school has made. They get a group of parents together that think like them, and they go to the administration and pressure them to change the rule or ‘they’ll just have to consider withdrawal’.
3.  Not having good faculty and administration. When a school is not financially independent, they will not have the resources to pay teachers well. It is extremely rare to find teachers who are willing to go the extra mile and give our children the best when they are not getting adequate compensation. May Allah (swt) reward those teachers who do, Ameen. However, generally, when teachers are not paid well they will either:
   1. Not teach at the school, period. (If they’re highly qualified)
   2. Teach, but can we really call it teaching? (i.e. They are the “teacher” but they dont really give a hoot about their job and the kids aren’t learning anything, either.)
   3. Teach, but they’re not qualified at all. Maybe they do an o.k. job, but they’re more there to push their agenda than anything else.

Without qualified teachers and quality administration, many parents who would consider Islamic schools will not, because they want their children to have both a secular AND an Islamic education. So we see this is a circular problem. Without qualified staff, many won’t come to the school. When many don’t come to the school, tuition rises. When tuition rises, many won’t pay or pull out. And when many don’t pay or pull out, teachers and administration that are there don’t get paid enough or regularly, and pull out. And when parents start seeing the power their tuition money has, they realize they can shape the school according to whatever agenda they have.

 So inshaaAllah you see that not being financially independent opens the door to all kinds of fitnah for an Islamic school.

Now to problem 2, which is just as complex as problem 1, but generally is a result of problem 1 and not a problem in and of itself.

2) How do we create a balance between Islamic and secular education?

Creating a balance between Islamic and secular education is a huge challenge. You have many differents types of parents who send their children to Islamic school. Some of these types are :

• The sincere family. They want their children to be in a wholesome, Islamic environment, to learn proper Islamic knowledge, and to complete their secular education with as little fitnah and distractions as possible so their child can move forward in their life as a good, decent, Muslim.
• The fix-my-child family. This is the family that has tried public schools. They have seen their child (or children) becoming like the kuffar. Their child may have been in and out of trouble in school, with the law, and may have had improper relationships with the opposite sex, been into alcohol, drugs, and many other things. The family decides to send their children to Islamic school to “fix them”.
• The ‘Islam is nice, but I really don’t care, I just don’t want my child going to public school’ family. These families aren’t really interested in their children getting an Islamic education. They don’t really care that much if their son listens to music or their daughter wears hijaab - they just don’t want them to become like the kuffar and get a bad reputation in the community or to do anything TOO haraam - so they don’t want them in public schools. Islamic education is not that big of a deal. Anyways, they have their own views of what is and is not allowed in Islam.
• The community family. They’re the family that is involved in everything related to the Muslim community. Sunday school? Check. Halaqas? Check. Masjid board? Check. Dinners and Fundraisers? Check. Check. Knowing everything there is to know about the community and community members. Check. Double check. They’re involved in everything and they’re around everyday anyways. The mother is probably a teacher or a helper at the Islamic school. Or one (or both) sits on the school board. They’re involved in everything, so it’s just natural that they’re also involved in the school. The kids go there reluctantly. They’re a little tired of all this stuff. They may be very religious, or they may just be active. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.
• The ‘I don’t want my children around the kuffar - or most other Muslims - family.’ This can be a positive (whereas I would categorize them as a “sincere family”) or it can be a negative (this category). They are the family that will make all their fiqh opinions known (loudly), expect them to be followed, and chastise [or perhaps even label a kaafir] anyone, adult or child, who dares have a different opinion than them. Their friends are those that have the same fiqh opinions as them. They don’t get along with or like most members of the community - and the feeling is generally mutual.
• The FOB family. They’re just that. Fresh off the boat. The parents speak little or no English. The kids speak little or no English. Parents enroll kids who speak no English in Islamic school which has no ESL program. They wonder - through an interpretor- after the first quarter why their child is flunking out of school. They don’t know much about America, let alone schools in America, but hey - some of the things y’all do are wacky. 

When you examine these different family types, you can see how people are bound to clash and butt heads. How will students who have been secularized at public schools interact with those raised in Islamic schools and homes? How is it possible to create a balance between Islamic and secular education when you have so many different views on what is proper Islamic education in the first place? Are students going to learn Hanafi or Shafi’ee fiqh or the Salafi way? Will Qur’an class be cut out to make the school day shorter?

Furthermore, how can rules be established when some people think wearing salwar kameez is cool, others are down with sisters wearing tight jeans (hey, as long as the shirt covers their butt!), while still others say girls must wear abayas, while still others prefer segregated classrooms. How we will punish students who violate Islamic guidelines and school rules without alienating them from Islam all together?

Who wins in this power struggle? Generally, the ones that have influence and money. (The school needs your tution money  )

At the end of the day, the Islamic school is there for the whole community and ALL types of Muslims. It has to be a place where ALL Muslims can send their children without fear of fitnah and with the security that their child is getting a sound Islamic and secular education from educators who display proper Islamic character and behavior themselves. This is not and idealistic view, but it is rather what must happen if people continue to raise children in this country. The future of the Muslims in this country is at stake. The first step to realizing this dream is for Islamic schools to become financially independent so that they can make sound decisions and rules based on what is correct and in the school and children’s best interest and not have to sway whichever way the parental tide takes them.

May Allah (subhanhu wa ta’ala) grant our children fiqh ad-deen, our schools independence and success based on the Qur’an and Sunnah, and our teachers and administrators patience and tawfiq, Ameen.

• Before we can pray, we need to purify ourselves.

• Two main ways of purification:

  • Ablution (minor)

  • Ghusl (major)

• We need physical and ritual purity.

• Physical purity means that we cleanse ourselves from impure substances.

• Impure substances:

  • Urine

  • Blood

  • Vomit

  • Liquid intoxicants

  • Dog’s saliva

  • Pig

• Physical purity is not sufficient for prayer. We need to also ritually purify ourself for prayer.

• Ritual impurity is of three types:

  • Minor ritual impurity –> ex. using the restroom. Can not pray or touch the original Arabic Qur’an.

  • Medium ritual impurity –> ex. husband and wife having intercourse. Can not recite the Qur’an (except for du’aa, protection, etc.), remain in the masjid, or do any of the things prohibited in minor ritual impurity.

  • Major ritual impurity –> ex. menstruating woman. Fasting prohibited, divorce unlawful in this state, and all things in previous levels.

How to remove minor impurity

• The integrals of ablution (wudu) are six. What we mean when we say integrals are those things that without them, the ablution (wudu) would not be valid and it would be like you had not made ablution at all.
  1. Intention.
     • The intention must coincide with the beginning of the action.
     • Words can be used but are not necessary.
     • Proof: “Actions are only according to their intentions and everyone shall have what they intended.” -Hadith (Bukhari)
     • Intention is how daily washing is differentiated from ablution.
  2. Washing the face.
     • The face begins at where the hairline normally begins to the bottom of the face, where the jawbone ends. The sides are just by the ears.
     • Washing a little more (to each edge) is also obligatory.  But washing extra (washing extra times, etc.) is blameworthy.
  3. Washing the arms.
     • The arms are from fingertip to elbow.
     • Again washing a little more (beyond the elbow) is obligatory.
  4. Wiping the head.
     • Either the scalp or the hair.

     • Wiping is different than washing. You only need to get some moisture on either the scalp or on a hair on the head.

  5. Washing the feet.

     • This includes the feet and the ankles.

     • Again, go a little beyond the ankles.

  6. Doing these in their correct order.

• All of the other acts (mouth, nose, ears, right before left, etc.) are Sunnah. If you never rinse your mouth and nose, your ablution will be valid. However, you will have missed out on a great reward. Reward is our rising in ranks for all of eternity in Jannah.There is no such thing as a minor Sunnah.
• Why then learn integrals? We might come across difficult situations where we can only do the minimum or the integrals.

Wallahi, it seems like anytime I tell anyone anything good about my son’s progress or his doctors say something good about him or his nurses, etc. something happens and he has a setback.

So today he’s having a blood transfusion.  Make du’aa.