Random Musings.

It has been over a year since I’ve updated this blog. I am looking forward to updating it more and having new information on it. Look for more in the coming weeks.

Chao.

So as of two days, we officially have a residence in Madinah. Please keep making du’aa for my iqama and that we continue to be blessed with provisions.

This is a letter Umm Layth wrote about a new educational opportunity in the state of Indiana. (I believe it’s also available in some other states).

Anyways, if you have children and are concerned about saving them from the fire, it’s something that I ask that you at least read and consider inshaaAllah.

Her letter is below… Continue Reading »

Devastation.

That’s what I felt at around 4:00 this morning as I was browsing friend’s blogs/facebook/myspace and came across something that well, frankly, broke my heart.

Death is near. It can come at any time and without any warning.  In our minds, we all think we have a lot of time and will live until we’re old. But how many of us will lose our lives at a young age unexpectedly leaving loved ones behind? This is reminder first and foremost for myself. I used to be able to taste death. When we are close to it or affected by it, we realize how death is near. But how quickly that feeling fades away and we forget.

For those of you that don’t know, I went to India a couple years back. It was simultaneously the best and worst time of my life. That experience shaped who I’ve become… it made me realize I had to take the deen more seriously and it influenced my decision to seriously consider marriage. 

While I was there, one of the other students in my group (and the only other Muslim student on the trip), drowned, may Allah have mercy on him and accept him as a shaheed. It was devastating to all of us. It so easily could have been any one of us. It could have been me.

Mohamed was a student at USC, full of life, energy and a very good heart. Everyone loved him because if you were with him, you were smiling because that’s the kind of character he had. After he died, some of us were in contact with his family members. In particular, I spoke via email, IM, etc. with his younger sister Farah.

How devastating was it for us who watched our peer who we had only known for one month be alive one minute and vanish in the midst of the Arabian Sea the next? How much more devastating must it have been for his family who was left without their only son and for his sister who was left without her only sibling, with whom she was extremely close.

It was more devastating for them than I ever imagined.

I learned in the early hours of this morning that since his death, Mohamed’s mother attempted suicide and was committed to a mental institution. Farah, who has also been undergoing therapy for depression as well, was left to care for her mother and step-father. How tragic for a girl her age (then 17) to have already lost your biological father, then to lose your brother and, theoretically, your mother all in the span of a short period of time. And perhaps even more tragic, she lost not only her family, but she’s also now completely lost her Islam.

Hearing this has brought back the sting of that experience. I ask Allah to use that sting to make me a better and more committed muslimah.

I know many people would say don’t have pity on them because of things they have done and perhaps brought upon themselves, but my sorrow for them is almost more than it was for him when he died. Because when he died, I had hope in Allah that He took him in His infinite wisdom for a greater purpose and that he had been granted the highest honor of being among the shuhadaa.

But for them… my heart weeps.

It’s 3:45 a.m.

I’m currently waiting until 5:30 a.m. when my mom said I can wake her up so we can go scan my documents at the library and send them to Waheed. Why we didn’t take care of this why he was here, I don’t know. The time was such a blur… spending time together and trying to give family and friends their rights as well. And now he’s back. He almost didn’t make it, which would have been a strange twist of events. His connecting flight to JFK was cancelled. If he missed his Saudi flight he wouldn’t have been able to go back this semester because his entering visa expired on Saturday (and Saudi Airlines only flies out once or twice a week). But a detour to Newark and mad dash to JFK left him making it in time.

Anyway. He called at 1:30 this morning. I missed the call, but vaguely remembered the phone ringing. So when Musa woke up around 2:00, I checked and saw the missed call and called him back. So today is the day he’ll be going to hopefully get permission for my iqama. A lot rides on me getting the iqama so if you can please just pray or send good thoughts my way, I’d appreciate it.

On another note, since he’ll be in Riyadh, he’ll be getting to see Hind’s (AbdulRahman’s wife) family. I want to tell him to please somehow take pictures of all the kids to send to me because oddly enough I miss those kids so much (and Hind too, but since he won’t see her I’ll have to wait till I go). It’s funny because I got close to her right before we both left west lafayette. Even funnier because our relationship was based on barely being able to communicate to each other but somehow finding a way to forge a friendship. So I’m looking forward to seeing her again. Waheed’s been in contact w/ him for awhile… it seems life is good for them. In addition to his job at the uni, he’s been made the imam of a masjid there, so that’s nice.

So that’s it. I have an hour and a half longer to wait.

I’m (hopefully) going to be updating a lot more. This blog is probably going to be more personal and less of my articles and stuff. Just being honest. So I’m giving you the heads up in case you don’t want to read.

Till then…

In life, there are those pivotal moments where you come to a junction in the road and you know if you go right there are consequences; if you go left there are consequences; if you keep going on the path you’re on there are consequences.

Most of us have had several of those pivotal life-changing moments in our lives that have altered, well, pretty much everything. I can think of several of those moments in my own life.

I’m facing another crossroads right now.  If you’re reading this, say a little prayer for me - that I’m guided to what is right and what is best.

Excellent reminder:

Abu Hurayrah, radi Allahu ‘anhu, narrated: the Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, said, “Being rich does not mean having a great amount of property.  Being wealthly is being content.” [Bukhari]

So, it’s been awhile. I’ve been busy and stuff.

 Musa is home, alhumdulilah. He came home on the 24th of December and so far, so good. MashaAllah he’s a very sweet baby and hasn’t given me too much grief yet. One of the blessings of him being in the hospital (you have to grab for whatever good you can right?) is that I had time to heal and rest up before having to take care of him full time.

 It’s ‘eid today. Doesn’t feel like it. I’m back home with my family and the days pass quickly. Waheed was given the opportunity to make hajj this year, alhumdulilah. Inshallah he’ll be coming home on the 26th. It’s been a long time.

Inshallah I’m planning to update more often. Eid mubarak to you and your families.

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One of the most sincere Muslimahs I have ever met, may Allah raise her and her family to the highest level of Jannah, Ameen, has two daughters of similar age (high school), one of which goes to Islamic school and one of which goes to a non-Islamic school. She recently said to me, “You know, most of the time I am more worried about sending daughter1 to Islamic school than I am sending daughter2 to public school.”

This mother’s tone was one of heartbreak, wallahi. When one reflects on her words and their meaning, we should all ask ourselves - how have we gone so wrong?

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